you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
