Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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