awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
