You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
