Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
