ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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