Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Enjoy the penises
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
