He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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