You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
