would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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