we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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