I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
