Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
