Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
