I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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