he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Damn victory sex feels great
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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