put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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