I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize