im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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