just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
