I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
