good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
