Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
