Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
