So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She told me I should be a condom model.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
