Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
