just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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