Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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