Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
