i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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