I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize