The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
