its not stalking. its research.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
