i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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