i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
