Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
