Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
