she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
