i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
