seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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