oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
