Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize