Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
