so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
