I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
