you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
