There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
