But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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