Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
