I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
kristin has been a bad kristin
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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