Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
