Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
